Life on your terms?

Life on your terms? 

Have you heard this phrase before? Sounds good doesn't it? But how many people actually have this? Life on their own terms. And how can we get this?

We are controlled by many factors, some external, some internal. Psychology calls these extrinsic and intrinsic. Our outer world and our inner world and there are still arguments as to which affects which.

But lets not get too technical. Life throws us all sorts of things from the minute we're born and we have to learn to deal with them, make the most of them and not let them limit us from living our best life.

Easier said than done right?

I agree. It's easy to say, "Just do it!" "Go for it!" "Don't let anything hold you back!" but if, like me, you've been to many a life transforming seminars and coaching programmes and you have come away hyped but still can't get a handle on how to do the above, then you'll know that it's not as easy as that!

While simple adjustments in life enable us to live more efficiently and more productively sometimes the limitations put on us by 'life' by 'people' and the like just don't want to let go that easily and just a little 'pep talk' or 'goal setting' is not gonna do it. Why? Because even if those goals are achieved when someone is watching you and pushing you, what happens when they're not there? What happens when you're on your own? If there hasn't been that internal shift, what will compel you to stay motivated?

Well, if you find 'it' you've found 'it' - if you know what I mean!

The thing is that, 'it' is different for everyone and you cannot use someone else's 'it' to make your own personal change because it won't last. The secret is, not to spend lots of time and money trying to find 'ways' of change, systems and pointers, but to find your own 'internal reasons' for change. Spend time, resources and money if you have to, finding out what makes you want these changes, whatever they may be, and the rest will fall into place. You can easily find the ways to make the changes once you know what they are. But if your 'it' is not compelling enough then no matter how much your husband wants it, or your friends or family, it won't work for you or if it does you'll feel resentful later for living for others and not for yourself.

Find out what moves you to change? 

What is your intrinsic factor for making those internal shifts so that you can have the life that you really want?

For some it takes a crisis to re-evaluate life and take steps to making lasting changes. For some it's just being fed up of being fed up that does it. For some it's just getting a reality check or a wake up call - a challenge in their health, finances, job or relationships. Whatever it is for you, tapping into that 'something' that will help you shift from where you are to where you want to be is the key.

You see what motivates me won't necessarily motivate you. I can inspire you maybe, but unless you get stirred up on your own and for your own good reasons, you won't make those lasting changes. How do I know? Because I have chased for this amazing 'thing' that will help me change. I've looked to other people and systems, fads and motivational tools, but they never really quite hit the mark.

But when at looked at me, Sally, that's when I found my 'it'. And I'm still looking. This is not a one-time event. This is for life. You have to keep looking so that you can keep finding. As a living being you evolve and what did it for you last year may not be your 'it' for this year.

So find your 'it' and keep finding it. It's not in anyone else. It's in you. To live life on your terms you need to know what those terms are. Define them and then go live the life that you want - Life on your  terms!