Monday 1 July 2013

What's holding you back? Why we let precious time pass us by

Why we let precious time pass us by

 
We're so busy that at times we don't realise that time is ticking by quicker than we think. If we're not careful we can end up twenty years from now wondering where has the time gone? In fact so often you hear people ask that question 'Where have the years gone?'. You blink and before you know it time has slipped through your fingers and the things you said you'd do tomorrow, next week or next month haven't been done. 


Now I know this all sounds a bit doom and gloom but sometimes we need a reality check don't we? Don't get me wrong I am an optimist which I think it's a really good trait to have. But even us optimists need a good dose of reality every now and again. Why? Because our failure to pay attention is not going to reward us in the long runThinking things are just fine when they're not means we won't try to change them.

So why do people go their whole lives thinking things are ok or thinking that they can sort things out later and then run out of time and find themselves years later regretting what they didn't do?

There's nothing worse than running out of time and not having achieved what you wanted to. So let's explore why people so often ignore doing what they should:

1. Time - It's a classic. There's never enough time. You hear it all the time. You may have even said yourself. Never enough time to do those things you need to do, to have, be, or do what you've always wanted. That may sound like a good excuse but those same people look back in regret at what they didn't allow themselves time for. The truth is we will make time for whatever we think is important but if we talk ourselves out of those things being important enough, we won't do them. So make time for the important things, like spending time with your kids, because you won't find time spare anywhere!

2. Timing - Like time, timing is another reason for why we don't do what we should. It's never the right time to go to the gym or start that new diet. There's always a wedding or a party or a holiday that will mess it up. It's never the right time to start a new business or move house or start a family. Do you know however, that you can spend your whole life planning for that perfect moment and it never comes ? Yet people have had unplanned pregnancies and lost jobs unexpectedly and managed just fine. Sometimes you just have to be thrown in at the deep end and you'll swim - no problem! It's called survival instinct and we've all got it!


3. Feelings - I don't know about you but these babies have had me in a twist plenty of times. 'Feelings'. We won't go into definitions but there is a lot that can be said for our feelings and how they control us. If we 'feel' like doing something then we will. If it 'feels' right then it is. But how reliable are feelings? And what are they based on? Most often feelings are formed through people's personalities and their experiences, not to mention hormones and diet. You can feel on top of the world one day or one moment and then down in the dumps the next. So how can feelings be a good determinant for what we should do with our lives? I can assure you that feelings are not a good indicator or motivator. You will not always 'feel' like doing what's right but you need to do it anyway otherwise those little feelings can be stealing your time, your happiness and your success. By-pass your feelings and do what you know you should do to get what you should have.

4. Resources - We often think that we don't have enough or, the right resources. Like time, we need money and resources to get things done. While this is true to some degree, for everyone that hasn't done something due to a lack of resources, I can show you ten that have started with NOTHING but the desire and they have succeeded incredibly. Whether you believe in God or the Universe etc, there seems to be an unwritten law that once you get started, that the ball gets rolling and all that you need seems to come to you. A huge amount of very successful people that have reached the top started with very little but their determination, drive and motivation got them to where they are. So, no, you don't need resources. You need resourcefulness!

5. Confidence - A lack of confidence can be a factor in stopping us doing what we are meant to do. At last here IS a valid reason for not moving forward. In fact, the above can be excuses, nine times out of ten, for not having this one thing. Confidence. Do we really believe in ourselves or the things we're doing enough? Or do we doubt our capabilities? Think about it. If you knew you couldn't fail what would you do? Would you still make excuses for not getting going? No, you probably wouldn't. If 100% success was guaranteed why wouldn't you go for it? You'd be in the gym the very next morning or planning that holiday of a lifetime like you mean it. If you thought you couldn't fail you would get going but if you don't have confidence in the thing you're doing or yourself, you won't budge from that place of safety. 

6. Denial - Everything is fine syndrome. Not facing up to reality. Convincing yourself that it's all under control. Meanwhile you're not happy and with time it all catches up with you anyway. Now you can keep up appearances for others but at least try to be honest with yourself. I know its hard to face some home truths but if you don't do it, it could mean the difference between a house repossession or a lost relationship. The consequences far outweigh the little bit of discomfort that you may feel now. Don't assume that you won't be able to cope with the truth. Things seem far worse in our minds than in reality and besides how bad can it be when left undone it will be far worse? Allow yourself the opportunity to make the changes now to avoid heartache later.

Time to think?
We've discussed a number of factors that can hinder us from moving forward and doing what we really need to. Of course there are many more. However, here's the main point:

Ten to twenty years from now, every reason that you had for not getting going will seem so ridiculous that you will quite likely want to kick yourself or you'll be mourning the lost time and missed opportunities forever. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, just realistic. It's a horrible feeling to get to the end and find you haven't done half of what you intended. Indeed it's just as horrible to be young and going through life knowing all along that there's more you could be doing and experiencing.

So why not fast forward to twenty years time and imagine the desperation that you will feel when you realise that you've let time slip away. Then apply that feeling to the here and now, so that hopefully you can be compelled to do what you really need to do, right now. Even if what you want may not be a big thing; whatever it is and whatever it takes, do what is necessary at this present time to achieve what you will be happy with later.

Life is precious. Don't waste a moment of it!

Your coach,

Sally

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