Is the one you create for yourself…
What is the perfect lifestyle? Guru's aim to promote a utopian existence if you follow their ten step plan, personal trainers make promises of a healthier, happier you (myself included!), the media promote a successful career as ideal, or having a family of 2.4 children, a nice home and car with at least one holiday per year, the ideal. But the truth is that the best lifestyle is the one you create for yourself. If it wasn't so then you wouldn't have millions of people straying from the norm and being perfectly happy even though it doesn't fit into mainstream ideals. I'm thinking of people who spend their entire lives devoted to helping others, sometimes at the expense of their own lives; I'm thinking of people who never marry or have children or never reach the top of the corporate ladder but are perfectly fine thank you very much.
Your best life is the one that you create not one that is created for you by others' expectations. I work with young people as a youth worker in my spare time (what spare time she says!) and I see so much conflict between what young people want to do with their lives to what is expected of them. This is not just in terms of career but also fashion sense, music preference and how they have fun. It's such a shame that we often fall into the mould that others have set for us. It's even worse when we haven't even noticed it happening.
In my work as a lifestyle coach I see conflict with people's goals. On the one hand they really want to achieve a particular goal and on the other they seem to fail at every attempt. With a bit of digging we both find out that it was never really their goal in the first place but an expectation they had put on themselves due to others' expectations of them or their own pre-conceived idea what they 'should' be doing.
The truth is you will only ever do or be what you really want to. So you will find yourself reaching for these pseudo goals half-heartedly, with less enthusiasm than goals that you have set for what really makes you happy.
For example if all you ever wanted to do is get married and have children, you will never be quite happy being in the rat race. You will have no sense of motivation or competitiveness or drive to reach the top of your career (or if you do it will never really satisfy).
Equally if all your parents ever wanted for you was to settle down and have a family and live close to them so that you can look after them, and all you want to do is travel the world and have adventure, then there could be some conflict.
I'm not saying that we should shirk responsibilities and disregard family and friends. What I am saying is to be true to yourself. Eventually people catch up and if they love you enough they will accept you for who you are and what you want in life.
I am delighted that some of the young people I know have chosen to live outside of normal. They listen to different music to their friends, wear different types of clothes and are interested in different things as a career (I know one person in particular doing this) and do you know what is happening? She is leading the way for her peers to be different. By being different she is introducing new things to her friends that they have never been exposed to.
We are created to be innovators in our world. Whether you want to be a mum or a business woman, a missionary or a nanny; create your own perfect lifestyle by filling it with what makes you happy and be a better person to be around.
I find the older I get the more I appreciate family and friends, helping others and being content with what I have. If this is you, enjoy it.
Your life is yours. No one will blame you for making it your own. Own it! Live it and create your perfect lifestyle.
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